Southern Adventist University battles “masturbation sin”

Southern Adventist University battles “masturbation sin”

April 18, 2011 12:12 am 19 comments

From a friend’s facebook:

This is disgusting on so many levels. At the same time, it is highly ironic given Southern Adventist University’s rapport as most conservative among higher education institutions run by the Seventh-day Adventist Church. As the late scholar, Raymond Cottrell, had to say regarding Southern:

Southern operates as an agency of Southern Bible belt obscurantism. Furthermore it was (and still is) to an appreciable extent, dependent on the largesse of committed ultra-fundamentalists, who insist that the college operate on ultra-fundamentalist principles.

Before I say anything, I must apologize for such a graphic post. But I really just couldn’t believe my eyes when my good friend Giancarlo sent this picture to me. I’m astounded that the boys dorm had to put this sign up. Not because I can’t believe that many guys masturbate in the shower, but because I can’t believe there were so many boys doing it that their semen started clogging the drains. I guess we know why SAU had that sexual purity vespers last semester.

Astounding. I might add that I have consulted with friends from other Adventist schools including Pacific Union College, Andrews University and La Sierra University; they have all confirmed that they are not aware of any similar sign being posted at their schools.

Update: link to original post added. Not sure how I missed it.
Update, take two: Caricatures of Adventists has reposted the image, helpfully providing a deciphering of the small words written on the sign.

19 comments
Nancy Dg
Nancy Dg

Did you really feel that you were doing anyone a service by posting this?

mens_sana
mens_sana

I can make such papers with your name and your blog address.

 

Hansen
Hansen

Word on the street was that a gym in West Hollywood had a similar sign. They chose to describe masturbation with a more common expression.

Solution to this problem is simple. The administration at SAU can install a security camera(s).

Kat
Kat

Haha, that is definitely a (very gross) prank of some sort.

It is not physically possible for semen to clog drains, come on people! That would have to be an ungodly (pun not intended) amount of wanking to achieve such a feat.

Besides, I'm sure most guys wear their hair short enough that it can't tangle up in huge hairballs and cause blockage like it does for us ladies....

bcdude89
bcdude89

Did you know this was actually a prank? I saw this on another SDA website at another place and they confirmed that some SAU students did it, not the deans. That makes sense since even though SAU is def. conservative this is outside the bounds for even them. After all this isn't QUITE Hartland or Weimar.

Giovanni Hashimoto
Giovanni Hashimoto

I mean, obviously, this is not true in the sense that semen did not clog up the drains. hah. But I did confirm that this was actually put up as some sort of prank before posting this.

Sarah
Sarah

Oh my gosh! Southern is disgusting. Thank you for posting this! I am sooo not going there anymore!

Anonymous
Anonymous

Beetz is gonna be so mad when he sees this floating around the web! Serves him right the way he runs our school!

Anonymous
Anonymous

I agree. Let them bring girls into the dorm!

Tom
Tom

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

This is the best thing I have seen all day.

Anonymous
Anonymous

I'm calling bullshit, but even if it isn't, I don't see anything wrong with the sign... lol they just don't want you clogging up THEIR drains. XD

Shane
Shane

This is just a distraction from the real issues facing Adventist higher-education. The first quote you gave pretty much takes away all credibility from your post.

Giovanni
Giovanni

Come on now, Anonymous. Just because Southern does something crazy doesn't say anything about other Adventist schools.

Anonymous
Anonymous

NUTS!!! I agree, screw Southern all the way! Screw all the Adventist schools, they're so stupid.

Anonymous
Anonymous

This is craaaaazzy man!

Brendy
Brendy

That's going to make thgins a lot easier from here on out.

damnkids
damnkids

totally crazy.. weird shit haha

Trackbacks

  1. [...] I have found many of the posts rather amusing, while others constitute a very clear reminder of the issues with the so-called education at ultra-conservative schools like Southern. I suggest a new name for the group: reasons not to go to Southern or other Sharia Christian [...]

  2. [...] be fair though, he says there wasn’t any sex. I guess that’s better than what those Southern guys were caught doing. My questions: is there a stained “little blue dress” involved? A cigar? Also, [...]