Dear Union,
Really. I wish you well. Honestly though, right now? You seem pathetic. I thought I would write you a letter explaining why I never showed up to pick up that ID card that you made for me. Here’s the story:
During the early part of my Junior year. Your recruiter came to visit my high school and I filled out a little one page form for more information. I was surprised when a few weeks later I got a letter of acceptance in the mail. You see, I only filled out that little form. I never wrote an admissions essay, I didn’t pay an application fee, and I definitely never requested that any references or transcripts be sent to you. I know for a fact you did not have my SAT scores, because I had not even taken it yet. So you can imagine my bemusement a few weeks later when I got a surprise acceptance letter from you.
But heck, you accepted me. Then you sent me a post card inviting me make a campus visit. You even offered to give me $250.00 towards airfare! Who turns down a free trip? Even if it is to Nebraska. It took me a few days, but I sent you an email to the address you told me to. You never replied. I know, I know. It was probably an oversight. So when over Holiday break my Senior year, I met some of your people at a convention and they invited me to visit, I emailed the address they told me from my phone right in front of them. They gave me a cute little neon bag, but you ignored my second email too.
You know, after you ignore two of my emails, I assumed that we were through. It’s funny though, even though you never would reply to anything I sent, you did send me a brochure titled “experience getting to know the place you will call home for the next four years.” I disagree. Why would I go to a school that accepted me then proceeded to ignore me for over a year? I also got items titled “experience getting all your ducks in a row,” “experience peace of mind” and even one that said “experience your new home.” Guess Union wants to make sure it cuts down its share of the 4 billion trees worldwide cut down for paper. I mean, why else would you send me so much without so much as a deposit?
Since you like experiences, here’s a new one for you: experience being rejected. Though really, you probably have plenty of experience in that already. Call me an ass, but I really didn’t feel like contacting you again to let you know I wasn’t going to go to your school after having my previous overtures ignored. Why should I waste my time experiencing having my emails being ignored? Also, it would also be nice if you would experience an epiphany that it isn’t necessary to stuff my mailbox with chopped down trees.
So now that you know all that, you can go ahead and throw away that ID card that was sitting at your front desk, unless you have a recycle box. That would be better. And while you’re at it…
Get it together.
-Giovanni
PS: I would choose you over Southern any day, thankfully, I had better options.